When did it become "mean" or "bad" to enforce rules, limits, boundaries, or consequences of any kind? When did setting restrictions become synonymous with lacking empathy?
I suppose some would say I'm pretty liberal when it comes to discipline with kids in the sense that I see misbehavior not as something to squash, but as a call for help--a plea for the adults in their life to dig deeper and give them the tools they need. They don't know what they don't know, so a child's behavior is the language they speak when they can't articulate their needs. I suppose this is true with adults, too. However, pain or ignorance is not a free pass--personal responsibility plays a role
I recently heard a well-known relationship expert who has been married over 30 years say that the "secret" to her enduring marriage isn't so much a particular set of habits or actions, but more a willingness on both their parts to allow the relationship to continually evolve. She said "I've had many different marriages, all with the same man."
While I won't pretend to have her expertise or experience--my husband and I have been together 11 years & married 8--I already get exactly what she's saying. Even after roughly a decade together, I can see how a marriage has different "incarnations".
One of my hesitations about marriage, and probably one of the reasons I waited until my 30's to marry, was that I had trouble picturing that two separate people--each with their own dreams & goals--would realistically be able to change together . What I've come to see in my own relationship is that a marriage can survive your individual changes, as long as you allow it room to--as long as you're not trying to hang onto & force what it once was.
Millions of people all over the United States are pumped for tomorrow's big Super Bowl game but I'm not one of them. I know, I know, I'm un-American and don't know how to have fun, blah, blah. When I was 20 I didn't want anyone to think that so I acted like I cared or half-understood the game, but I own it now. Because the only guy I care about impressing is my husband and I think he's on to me by now, given the fact that for the past ten Super Bowls I've only come into the room to hover over the snacks & watch the halftime show.
If you're one of the tens of people that are with me on this, read on--you're not alone! If you're one of the millions not with me it's okay, you can go get your snacks prepped for tomorrow (or continue to read and then comment about what a stick-in-the-mud I am).
I'm Krissy & I'm so thankful you're here. Being a woman, a wife, a mother--it's all rewarding but also tough. I hope this is a place you can go that feels like caffeine for the soul. Check out the categories below and, if you like what you read, subscribe to make sure you always have good Sunday morning reading to go with your coffee :)